Lesley Barabas

lesleyLove equaled pain for as long as I can remember. Heartache was the impetus for me to immerse myself in every self-development and spiritual book on the shelf over a period of more than 15 years. I searched and searched for the answer to finding love and how to fix myself enough to be worthy of it. You would think with all this enlightened knowledge I’d have it all figured out, right? Not even close.

Unfortunately, nothing in my life changed. I resorted to taking online courses by revered ‘dating experts’ who taught relationship tips & tricks.  None of this advice ever included being myself on dates. I learned how to be busy when a man calls, what to say to peek his interest, how to not scare him away, and how men love women who are mysterious.  Surprisingly with all my new skills, I was still alone.

For so many years the men I liked didn’t call and the ones I didn’t like wouldn’t stop calling. People would say I had a bad picker or that I’d find him when I wasn’t looking. I concluded something had to be wrong with me. Taking classes on how to win over the opposite sex was supposed to help but it actually made me feel more inadequate. It also didn’t change my patterns in relationships or the type of men I seemed to keep attracting.

What Jung’s work taught me didn’t resemble dating advice or altering myself in any way. In fact, it was about becoming more of who I was. My life has not looked the same inwardly or outwardly since I began studying this process. Of course, my initial goal was to find my man, but instead, I found me. I discovered he couldn’t find me until I found me. Finding my true Self-led me to the most fulfilled relationship I have ever known with a remarkable man.

Certified by the Academy of Jungian Spiritual Psychology
Earned a Bachelor of Science from the Worcester State College (Cum Laude)
Health Sciences

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Tony Barabas

tonyThroughout my life, I’ve predominately judged and valued love from what my parents demonstrated over 45 years together. They met under auspicious circumstances on my father’s return visit to Europe, where they were both born and raised. That visit led to a quick courtship, marriage and then a major life transition to the United States. They moved here with one suitcase and each other. Throughout my life, I always valued their commitment and loyalty to each other. It is the definition of what “Love” really meant to me.

During my 20’s I dated infrequently, focusing on my career and future. Growing up with a confident mother influenced my expectation that all women would be like her. The women I was interested in were either taken, not interested, or just didn’t meet my standards. I also felt my passive and quiet demeanor worked against me in dating. Ultimately I remained single despite really wanting to find someone.

After years of malaise, I watched my childhood friends marrying and living the proverbial perfect life. Since I was nowhere near this accomplishment, I decided to focus on making myself happy with or without a partner. As my thirties disappeared I attempted to disassociate myself from cultural ideologies dictating what a great relationship looks like and became bold enough to start shaping my own definition. Every “disappointment” helped me envision what I valued in a relationship. Still, my parent’s marriage remained the best model I had seen up to that point.

As I entered my 40’s I became confident that I am whole and complete even if I never found love. Then the proverbial sledgehammer fell and I met the Love of my life. Fears and uncertainty strongly asserted themselves, attempting to separate me from her. If I hadn’t become introspective in understanding my fears, I could’ve unintentionally sabotaged our relationship. Twenty years of solitude builds a particular type of comfort zone that love doesn’t fit into. The axiom “be careful what you wish for” became prophetic. For the first time, I let someone into my heart, mind, and soul.